Empathy Cards

Helping a person to express their feeling aside from their evaluation will help you discover their unmet need. Only from here can we intelligently re-write strategies. 

This is a great resource for helping identify what feelings or needs are present. There is something about having a set of cards to flick through that seems to make it easier to figure out where you are at.

These could be useful for professionals, layworkers, and individuals.

The trick with feelings is that many of the things we think are feelings are actually 'assesments' of a situation, and the problem with most things we call 'needs', is that they are actually 'stratagies' that we use to fulfil our needs. Having a list of words limits us to the true feelings and needs which helps us better understand ourselves which increases our chance of meeting our needs and being able to be truely heard by others when we communicate.

The focus on needs and feelings is something I picked up on from Marshell Rosenburgs work on something he calles Non-Violent Communication.

If you want a set they are $40+p+p for a full set of feelings and needs. There will also be included a quick reference set of feelings and needs, a few instruction cards with games you can play, and the 'dance floor'.

GAMES AND USES

Empathy Poker:

1. 1 Player chooses a couple feelings cards and lays them out.

2. Other players take turn offering needs cards.

“Do you feel __________ because you have a need for _____________?”

Dance Floor:

To gain clarity for yourself or practice expressing yourself clearly, follow the steps (Jackel, Observation, Feelings, Needs, Request) on a current issue. If it’s a difficult conversation with somebody leave the Jackelout! Don’t jump to the Request too quickly and don’t be scared to go back and forth while you figure out what you really are feeling, needing, and requesting.

Here and Now Needs:

This can work well at the start of a meeting. Hand a pile of cards to each member and ask them to choose one ACTIVE/CURRENT need or feeling card and tell the story of that word making an effort to link it bot to the present and a time when you were under 15 years old.

Check this out for some more information on the NVC Dance Floor.